Visa Now Required to Cross the Mighty Mac

Mackinaw City, MI — Tourists and locals alike may soon find themselves rifling through their passports before heading north across Michigan’s famed Mackinac Bridge. New regulations from the Upper Peninsula Border Authority (UPBA) have introduced a visa requirement for anyone attempting to cross into the U.P., citing “regional integrity” and “preservation of pasty culture.”

The policy, expected to roll out this fall, will require visitors to apply for a temporary Mackinac Visa, valid for up to 14 days. Applications can be submitted online or at newly established border kiosks near the bridge’s toll plaza. Processing fees are expected to run between $12 and $18, with expedited service available for an additional $5.

“The Upper Peninsula is unlike anywhere else in America — or the world,” said UPBA spokesperson Glen Sorenson. “We must ensure that only respectful and well-prepared travelers are allowed to enter this sacred land of forests, lakes, and exceptionally large mosquitoes.”

While many Yoopers welcome the move as a way to protect their traditions, trolls from the Lower Peninsula have expressed frustration. “I’ve been going up north every summer for thirty years,” said one Lansing resident. “Now they want me to get a visa just to camp in St. Ignace? This is ridiculous.”

Despite the pushback, UPBA officials insist the change will boost local pride and tourism revenue. Rumors even suggest a “permanent residency card” may be introduced for die-hard hunters and snowmobilers. Until then, anyone crossing the Mighty Mac should have paperwork ready — or risk being turned back to the land of Meijer and Biggby Coffee.